Why Ruts Exists
Posted on April 16 2018
Wife: After I pick up your close at the cleansers, I need to stop by the grocery store. Can you start dinner for me?
Husband: Can't you just pick up something while you're out?
If this sounds familiar...you may be in a rut. Worse yet - you may be in a routine where no one is really satisfied. Each of you leading very hectic lives in very different ways. You have your expectations and he has his.
No wonder you're both stressed out. You do what you have to do and not what you want to do. No one wants to "have" to do something. Most people would prefer to keep telling themselves that they are doing exactly what they want to be doing.
Really? Does your partner know? Are you on the same page.. if so, you wouldn't have to tell your partner to start dinner...it would already be underway.
Couples that are on the same page generally have the same expectations. Each know that the other is dealing with a certain kind of stress and what the other needs to minimize that stress.
Take Chip and Joanna Gaines for example. Yes, there are a "made-for-TV" couple but, they walked away from TV success at the top of their game to enjoy being a family without the pressure of playing the ratings game or staying on top of trending social media.
Couples, as hard as it may be need to dedicate 1 day to each other. Yes, we know. We live in the real world too. Kids and jobs and obligations makes setting time to be together nearly impossible. But, if your partner is worth it - you should try.
Are you willing to live the next ten years the way you are living your life now? What if you don't have another ten years? What are you willing to do differently to maximize today?