Note* This will be a 5 part series blog with more than just how to start (stay tuned)
If you found this article about swinging, you either clicked into the wrong place or you either have talked about it, or thought about it and there’s no reason that you shouldn’t think about it, as not only is it perfectly natural to want to be with other people, but swinging itself is actually more common than you think. For example, one of the main swinging sites kasidie.com has almost 1600-2000 new members that sign up every single week. Those numbers aren’t fabricated, it’s fact and you can view every new person that signs up, as long as you’re an active real member.
Safer than regular dating, parties, and events?
As an actual Swinger who's been to their fair share of parties and in the lifestyle for a few years. Let us tell you, swinging, sex parties, dating, and overall swinging, in general, can be safer than let's say a frat party. Most Lifestylers (or swingers) screen themselves often for STD's and such. Every party, event or lifestyle venue, you are taught about consent & respect and policies for touching people. Basically, if you break these rules you will be immediately kicked. When at any event, making sure that any social event is always consensual and safe - creating an amazing fun time where people can feel safe and explore their sexual desires together with their partners and other like-minded folk.
So is swinging becoming more of the norm? Is monogamy a thing of the past? Ultimately will we expand to the new horizons and learn to leave the dreaded jealously germ, and all those negative things that cause a relationship to fail? Who knows, no one really knows anything…but isn't life just meant to be enjoyed after all?
In this blog, we will discuss some of the following
- How to start
- Where to get started, meet other coulples and where to fish
In our next Blog (coming soon) we will go over more important aspects like:
- Creating boundaries
- The Learning Process
- When you shouldn’t
- The most important variable – Communication
- The Final Destination
So, you want to sleep with other people aye? Well of course, who doesn’t! Surely maybe because your partner isn’t fulfilling your sexual needs, fantasies and desires or maybe you just want to fix your relationship that seems to be struggling with something you just can’t put your finger on and having sex with someone else, or maybe just having the other couple, male or female just talk and listen to you.
If any of that applies to you, then I’ll immediately say – Swinging is not for you! Let’s get that straight, right out the door. Before you proceed, it is very important first and foremost to know, swinging is for couples that are solid in their relationship, the sex is there, the happiness is there and there is open communication. Now since we’ve gotten that out of the way and your relationship meets the above criteria, then you would be happy to know that swinging can actually enhance every single one those aspects of your relationship! Unfortunately, we cannot go fully into detail in this article about every single little tiny thing but rest assured in our next articles coming soon we will dive a bit deeper into it all.
Let us move on to the above-listed bullet points:
How to start:
First off communication is key when discussing it with your partner and how-to approach is it is definitely going to be the hardest part. From my personal experience we already fantasized about it during our lovemaking but once it ended, we sort of just ignored the dirty talk being discussed about playing with other people. Finally one day when on a rainy day sitting there talking about the finer things in life in one of our deep conversations about nothing in particular, it was brought up.
Here’s some info on how to first approach it.
- Timing: This is everything! Do not bring it up out of left field!
- Have a valid reason as to why you’re bringing it up in the first place (Each reason is different per person)
- Drop hints and be flirtatious bringing it up when your partner is looking at another attractive person while out and about. It happens all the time, and to be honest, if you get mad or upset at your partner about them appreciating a beautiful human, again – swinging may not be for you.
- Don’t give up on the first try, your partner may be hesitant or even thinks it’s a trap! The whole point is to get your point across about how you feel. Remember in the animal kingdom, only 3 to 5 percent of mammals are actually monogamous.
Best Websites and Apps to get on to Start Swinging
Now that you’ve gotten past the hard part, this next part is relatively easy. There are apps out there like Feeld and 3Somer for ios and android, and although these are decent fishing spots, these apps are a bit more like tinder with the whole swipe to like & dislike element. Even after matching with someone, you message and chat and occasionally may meet up, but these apps are a bit more for starters just to see who’s on the “Feeld” if one might say. Here’s a quick breakdown of the best apps and sites to start your escapes on all of the sites will give you a pretty much basic free version, but if you want to actually be able to reach out to people, most will require a monthly fee. Check them out first and see which site suits your taste.
- App - Free – Feeld: Younger and seemingly more attractive people and women claiming to be unicorns. Connect and match, end up chatting up a bit and sending nudes. For meeting, it seems slimmer than the bigger larger sites. It also needs to sync to your facebook, but it will not post to your wall
- Website – Kasidie.com (Top Pick Limited Free) : Kasidie is probably one of the biggest sites out there that is for people who are serious into swinging. It shows almost everything on the site and has a variety of different people from an average age of 22-55. To actually use all functions of the website you will have to meet up with another couple or attend a meet and greet or party and actually be certified by someone who is already on kasidie to get full membership benefits. So that means not everyone can be a part of it all. ONLY IF YOU ARE TRULY DOWN FOR THE CAUSE! Kasidie is subscription base starting at $14.99 a month to actually be a part and if you’re looking to really meet other couples, have access to tons of events and parties in your area, ontop of seeing everyone around your location down the actual miles on how far they are from you, this is the site for you. Also includes blogs, forums and lifestyle travels.
- App – Limited Free 3Somer: Almost like feeld, but with more of a subscription fee where people chat and post pics and community seems a bit bigger with a bit of lewd content - way than feeld. This is also more subscription based but will be bit more risqué.
- Website – Quiver.US Limited Free: is a relatively new site when checked out seem to be new and getting new sign ups, but definitely wasn’t as advanced as some of the top choices. Still with everything its worth checking out.
As promised, we gave you a taste of some of the basics on how to get started with your lover on the top of where to start fishing! If you’re just wanting to look around, check out the Feeld app on iOS and Android, it’s private and discreet and looks like a regular tinder dating app with no nudes. If you’re looking to get into a slightly bigger fishing hole and also being a bit more lewd, 3Somer app for iOs and Android will be your next go-to. If you’ve decided to go straight to the minor leagues and are wanting to jump into the lifestyle, head over to sls.com and take a look around. It has a lot of free features to browse and although it has lewd content, it isn’t that extreme. Now if you’re looking for the best site to check out the real stuff - who are the real deal certified Elite “Lifestylers”. Kasidie.com is the place you’ll want to go if you’re looking to dip straight into the ice cold waters deep end. You’ll want to head straight over there and get signed up!