Explore your prostate!
I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked by straight men: is it gay if I want to try butt stuff? Is it gay if I think it feels good?
Fellas… your sexual orientation has nothing to do with the fact that you have the ability to powerfully elevate your orgasm with some up-the-butt stimulation. As a bisexual woman, most of my long-term relationships have been with men. And it took every single one of those men months and months to finally “come clean” about their desires. They acted like it was a dirty secret they had -- something to be ashamed about.
To which I say: Gentlemen! Do not let fragile masculinity get in the way of your nut. You could be missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime here.
Not only is incorporating butt-play with your partner incredibly pleasurable, it’s also pretty fucking hot. Don’t let early 2000s Judd Apatow high-guy buddy comedies dictate your perception of what women are or aren’t into. So many of the women I know are very into the idea of their man exploring his body. There is nothing sexier than being shameless and enthusiastic about doing taboo things to each other in the middle of the night.
The first time I tried butt stuff with a guy, he asked me in the heat of the moment about 10 months into our sexual relationship.
“Will you stick your finger in my butt? Please?” I didn’t hesitate for a second. And what I proceeded to witness was one of the purest and intense orgasms of my life. He practically screamed. His eyes rolled back in his head. I saw his soul leave his body, return to the mothership, say a few pleasantries with his ancestors, then head back down to earth and re-enter his exoskeleton. That shit was BOMB. And knowing that me, my little finger, and I had helped to give this man this moment of pure bliss? PRICELESS.
The thought that so many more men could be experiencing such euphoria but their own shame is holding them back is… simply tragic.
And I understand how deep that shame can go. The shame around the male prostate is deeply tied to homophobia and internalized misogyny. It comes from the idea that being penetrated makes you weak, and therefore less of a man, which is archaic, harmful, and frankly, a huge fucking cockblock. Seeing posts online making fun of Kanye after Amber Rose revealed she used to put her finger up his butt certainly does not fucking help. But I believe that getting a finger from a queen like Amber Rose up his ass is probably one of the only real reasons to continue to respect Kanye West. And that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.
Let this blog be your wake up call. You don’t need to be embarrassed. I’m a generic hot girl here to tell you it’s extremely cool that you have a bundle of nerve endings inside you and you should talk about it with your partner without fear.
You just need to communicate your interests ahead of time. There are so many ways to get started: toys, lube, buttplugs, fingers, a good old fashioned rim job. No matter what your comfort level is with penetration, there are ways to gradually bring your prostate into the mix. Or just go balls to the wall and get pegged on the first night.
Click pic below to check out some of our prostates
It’s probably good to learn what exactly the prostate is. According to LifeHacker, the prostate, or male g-spot, is “a small gland in the male reproductive system that aids in producing and releasing ejaculatory fluid. During arousal, the prostate swells up with fluid, which it eventually expels when a man ejaculates.” LifeHacker’s article here provides a great step-by-step on how to find your g-spot and stimulate it.
You also don’t immediately have to go inside if you’re not ready, through the skin between your anus and testicles (in other words that taint), you can activate some of those nerve endings.
So what’s stopping you? It’s time to grab your life by the prostate, bro. No homo. Even though being homo is totally fucking tight. Just like your asshole. Come on. Let’s get this nut.